Part 1: Making the Shrinky Dink Figures

1) Print out Prophylactic Tactic on the shrinky dink paper, you can print out a premade ready to go pdf with P.T. here. However, you can make a Dr. Coprophil or Uncle Jessie snow globe if you’d like. Keep in mind that they will shrink to about a third of their original size.

2) Preheat the oven to about 300 degrees. To ensure that the oven is sufficiently heated, perform this simple test: Have your soulmate stick their head in the oven to see if that oven is a sizzlin'!! (Trust me they'll do it if they truly love you)

3) Carefully cut your images out and place them on a cookie sheet on a flat piece of paper bag or wax paper. You should take advatange of this opportunity to also heat up some chicken taquitos, tuna safe dolphin sticks, or your icy cold love life.

4) Place them in the oven and cook them for about 5 minutes. It is important to make sure there are no household pets in the oven (sadly we skipped this step). You’ll notice that they’ll crinkle up and warp but they should eventually flatten out.

5) Once they’re done cooking take them out and immediately take a drink of your 40. You may find that it is a good idea to smoke afterwards to relieve stress from: school, work... or your unwanted pregnancy. After you take them out of the oven it is very important flatten them out with a flat surface like a book or magazine.

You may have noticed our special guest co-host of this segment; our cute loveable furry friend named Donatello.

Donatello is an experienced model who has worked for many years as a commercial model. He has recently appeared in ads for Mervyn’s California and Arby’s.

Part 2: Coloring and Coating the Figures

In this step we will color the figures so they don’t have boring white backs and coat them so they don’t fade and deteriorate in the water.

1) First let’s color the backs of our figures with a marker. For P.T. we used a silver sharpie and for the 40’s and panties we used red and yellow sharpies.

2) Once all the coloring is done it’s time to start coating them and make these bad boys waterproof. We sprayed ours with some krylon matte spray doing two coats on each side. There may be some better alternatives to water proofing but Donatello seemed to get quite a nice buzz off of the fumes of this shit.

Part 3: Mounting P.T. onto the Lid

1) Before gluing P.T. onto the lid, tightly close the lid on the jar and make a small mark on the lid that faces the front of the snow globe.

2) Using a generous amount of the E6000 glue, glue P.T. onto the lid making sure he is facing the front of the lid where you made the mark. Make a little apparatus such as the one pictured to insure he stays upright. It’ll take about 6 hours for him to dry. In the meantime you can search for a more entertaining website.

Part 4: Filling the Snow Globe

1) Pour some distilled water into the jar almost to the top. Then add a small splash of glycerin.

Donatello may look like a cute loveable kitten but don’t be fooled by that baby face. Trust me, Donatello is a 47 year old DICK! Last season his attitude cost him a starring role on the O.C.

2) Sprinkle a dash of the white glitter and begin dropping the 40’s and dropping your panties into the mix. Emphasis on the dropping your panties part!! Ow ow ow!!

Part 5: Putting it All Together

1) Once P.T. is all dried and secured to the lid we can now close him in the snow globe!

2) To make sure the snow globe is durable and does not leak, we lined the lid up with some glue before closing the lid on the jar.

3) Let the snow globe dry upside down over night and when you awake you will have a magical perverted robot to support financially for the rest of your life.